House Hunting

A reader writes in: I am 20 to 30 degree Sagittarius rising man, (I don't know the precise time of my birth) does it mean that my first house starts from 20th degree Sagittarius up to 20th degree of Capricorn? or I should assume only 30 degrees of Sagittarius as my first house and Capricorn as my second house? Like this, Pluto is in my which house, 1st or 2nd? Please reply. RR

My Response: Dear RR There is a house system called Equal House and in this system, if you had 20 degrees on your ascendant, then you would also have 20 degrees, but in Capricorn, on your second house cusp. Astrologers use different house systems. Eventually after looking at many charts, some house systems tell the stories better than others. Without knowing what time you were born it's not easy to pinpoint how many degrees of Sagittarius are in your first house. Just from this question, to me you feel like Pluto in the first house, because I feel a determination to solve the mystery. The illustration above shows you my feeling of house systems. They are fluid and stretchy. Some houses sometimes have a few degrees, and other houses other times have many, many degrees. It all depends on where on the earth you were born and at what time of day to see at what angle the zodiac was wrapping around us. What sign do you think is on the cusp of your second? Does it feel like Capricorn? That could mean you enjoy the discipline of good old fashioned financial planning, and you might keep things pretty well organized, compartmentalized and traditional.Without an exact birth time, you could also work with an astrologer to rectify your chart and this may be interesting for you. Thanks for writing, Deirdre P.S. The illustrations below convey my feeling of imagining house systems -- reflections on technicalities in house constructions.

Saturn and Discipline: Taking Care of Love

Hei Deirdre
My name is Grethe and I am from Norway. Last year in June 2007 I meet a man who has been on my mind since. In dreams and awake. Now it's over mainly because of mistrust. But he is all over me if you understand what I mean. It has to be something special between us. When we meet, transiting Pluto was on my Venus and transiting Chiron was on his Venus. I can't read a chart, only look up individual aspects so I cant see the whole. I would be so glad if you could look at our case and tell me what this relationship means and if we should be together or not.
Grethe

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Dear Grethe,
First I will tell you what I think, and then I will explain why. I think you need to spend some time together. I think you need to know each other and hang out doing nothing just to let all of the energy and cells in your body get used to all the energy and cells in his body. You know you can live without him, and when you remember this, you can eliminate any drama, as this does not help getting to know him. As we emailed back and forth as I was asking you questions, I learned that you and he live in two different countries. To give you my rough idea, I say plan 2008 as a time to get to know him. Communicate share and be open. I think that 2009 looks like a good time for both of you to be together, but one of you needs to take the lead on making this happen. You can let it be you without telling him this with words, just lead with confidence. This is not easy as the woman, I know. But you are a fun, crazy and free Sagittarius, I know you can cook up thousands and millions of interesting ways to connect with him.

I have looked at your compatibility using synastry. His Jupiter is conjunct your Moon/Jupiter. His Jupiter trines your Sun and Mercury. You must have a lot of fun together and laugh. Your Mars sextiles his Venus, so it may be that you have initiated just a little more than he has. It may always be that way. As a woman, I know this is tough, but you have to decide it's okay to give him tiny little pushes, and not let your self confidence be effected.

On the night you met your Capricorn man, the moon was in Aquarius conjunct Chiron. This was like a moment that spanned very much time and had that large feeling of MAMA. Being close, being taken care of, needing to separate, needing nurturing. That borderline feeling of curling up in Mama's breasts and feeling an innocent, surprising and normal eroticism.

The moon aspect just before you met was Moon conjunct Neptune, then the next aspect after you met was Moon sextile Pluto. If I look at these two aspects and tell a short story, it is a romantic meeting where it is hard to find out if it is real. The direction this goes is to completely change your lifestyles, maybe to be neighbors, to have houses side by side with different kitchens (but he would always be in your kitchen).

Also when you met, in your progression chart, you had Venus conjunct Saturn. He has Venus conjunct Saturn natally. When I think of the Moon in Aquarius conjunct Chiron on the night you met, I can imagine that an unconventional situation of being together with a lot of space is a realistic path. And because Saturn is involved the path can be long — as long as both of you remain reasonable and stay away from drama. Believe me, this is very painful for him to open up for him, he longs for love, but needs a strange amount of freedom. you have to be ready to give him this, and if this makes you uncomfortable, then forget the project.

If you believe in past lives there is a good chance you had some together before. I think this is why you cant get him out of your mind, because he has really never been out of your mind. I think if you decide to go forward to further explore this relationship, do this with detachment. Be like a scientist doing an experiment. Promise yourself that you will put all of yourself in getting to know him in a more boring day to day way. If it doesn't work, whether because he doesn't want to or you don't feel good or whatever, then stop the experiment, collect yourself and move on -- but give yourself a couple of detached years for this.

In terms of timing, I would say allow for some slow communication with him for all of 2008. Write letters over email, call only if it's cheap, save your resources. During 2009 you both have positive aspects for relationship. It may be that during 2008 you can prepare the logistics. Don't forget to flirt with him, see if you feel a response. Don't look for reasons to not trust him. Don't look at the pool, just dive in. Engage with him intellectually and joyfully. Have him spend some time at your place. Who will move where? This I have no feeling for --maybe both of you to a third country?

When the two of you met, those were very extreme conditions with Pluto on your Venus and Chiron on his Venus. I think that now that some time has passed, you might not feel so desperate, and he may not feel so raw. It is a different time now, its really all different. You can decide to be together. Just know that it wont be until 2009, until Pluto is back in Capricorn for "ever" that you will get a sense of reality. In the mean time, enjoy the slow and soulful process. You are a wise woman, and you can lead this project in a successful and fulfilling way.

Take very good care of yourself.
Deirdre

For Damsels Recycling Distress (a call for good dudes)

Before Gemini season really gets going and we are fluttering from flower to flower, here are some questions to think about before your date books get filled up. Read on if you are looking for partnership, like alright already, like you are at that point. I compiled these questions yesterday while the Moon was full to the brim at 29th degree of Scorpio. Saturn and Pluto anchored the energy in a timeless harbor. Nearly stationary Mercury, Neptune and Chiron focused awareness for damsels wanting kids and a partner on the path of transformation. Dudes: feel free to stay.

The truth about parenting and partnership is, imagine this. You are breastfeeding for the 30th day in a row and you know you have 150 days left to go. Your bottom is still an indefinable area left over from the birth experience. Your life is left breast, right breast, left breast, right breast, maybe check email, no time to write email, left breast, right breast, bath, bed, right breast, left breast. So: which guy is your soul mate in this picture? Around which guy can can you have diarrhea running down your legs and milk running out of your breasts making the whole bed a mess and you don’t care at all what he thinks of you. Personally Mr.Fantastic makes me nervous. The last I want in this situation is a guy in a suit who doesn’t want to get dirty, but that’s me.

Guys often don’t help with raising kids, the whole thing may be left to us, and still they, I mean guys, want to tell us what to do. Which guy listens to your intuition and doesn’t dominate it? Which guy looks to you for direction, which guy honors matriarchy, where woman’s intuition is holy?

Which guy is going to leave and go either on a business trip or even on a vacation? Guys do outrageous things when the female archetype is stressed. Which guy would leave and go surfing and not help. Which guy will go to PTA meetings and not flirt with the youngest mother in the room? They do this!

Being in love with Mr.Fantastic is in my opinion a way to drive yourself crazy. Can you relax and know he will be around for you? Which guy will build a diaper station — and NOT need attention for it for the next 5 years. Which guy makes a Sunday brunch and lets you have coffee in bed?

I picture with Mr.Fantastic you would be picking up his dry cleaning. We know he is sexy, I swear this goes away after a while. What is left when that is gone? Is he nice? Is he caught in the web of somewhere else, his family or his mom? Can he put someone before himself -- ever? Which guy is going to stay home with the kids while you go away a few weeks and work on your creative project?

If you looking for a boyfriend to fill a gap for today, this is fine if you don’t care what happens in the future. Who knows maybe in 5 – 6 years you might choose an open relationship. Maybe you will meet Mr.Fantastic again for some exciting rounds of sex and you can admire him in his suit. I imagine he will still be be the same. Thank god you will have a partner to go back to, someone more humble who is just there holding space for you. Which guy can hold space open for you? Do you feel safe there?

The way we can be in love with Mr.Fantastic, it makes me nervous that we might let him do whatever he wants just so he stays around or lets us stay around. This dynamic gets hard to even out if it goes on for a while.

So, well, thats what I think now — if this is too tough, just tell me — and guys feel free to rant.

And on this note, get out your calenders and unless you like how scratch-outs look, write all the appointments dates and picnic parties in pencil not pen. Mercury is going retrograde, a good time for penciling in those old dates who just scored points on the rhetorical question quiz.

Looking for Partnership the Saturn Way

Hi, Deirdre-
I'm single, and it may be that I'll have to finish writing my memoir before I can move forward in relationship (I hope not!). I watch my heart open hopefully and then get discouraged and close; I watch how judgmental I can be with men. I'm wondering if my chart sheds any light on that part of my life.
Catherine
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Dear Catherine,
My recommendation for you is to apply as much discipline to partnership now as you do to your memoir. Alittle bit like if you wanted a flat stomach and if you just did one sit up you could look in the mirror and give up hope. When sit-ups are done daily, the stomach is flatter, this is the kind of discipline I mean.

For example is there a chair in your apartment for another person to sit? Is there room in a closet for a man to hang a suit? Do you have block of time during the day to devote to someone? Do you have enough dishes for two people at least? Would you be willing to share all of your financial information with someone? I would suggest for a half hour a day shifting from writing your memoir, to writing to your partner — describing him, seeing him, tasting him and touching him.

I am describing having Capricorn on the 7th house cusp, with a postively aspected Saturn in the 8th. I think, because of Saturn, daily practice is key, and the nice part is, the older you get the better you will always get at this.

Enjoy!
Deirdre

Chiron as a Saffron Gate

Hi Deirdre,
Could you tell me your interpretation of Chiron in my chart?
Thank you,
Céline

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Dear Céline,
The image that came to my mind when I look at your Chiron on the Ascendant is the art installation from Christo and Jeanne-Claude called "The Gates" which was installed in Central Park in 2005. Your chart has given me a new understanding of this piece of public art.

The ascendant is a gate and Chiron is something we experience over and over again. When this image of "The Gates" came to my mind I went to the web site of Christo and Jeanne-Claude to refresh my memory and show you what I am talking about.

As for my pure astrological impression first, I got the image of you meeting people and their weakness or blind spot guiding you to the next step, almost like a tarot card, an oracle, or a sign at the side of the road, you read the sign and keep going until you get to the next sign. Because this is Chiron on the ascendant, it's about beginnings, so this might happen over and over again, and each time feel like the first time, as if the meetings don't necessarily build on each other, but they are like a connect the dots on the path of your life.

Your natal Chiron is opposed Pluto so I would imagine it's difficult to keep power out of these situations. A suggestion is to let go of ties to any ego if that is appropriate. The involvement of Pluto as an opposition might mean that you experience the meeting as someone being more powerful than the other one. I don't know if your experience of one-to-one encounters is sometimes very scary, or full of power games, but it may be this way.

If you are interested how it is from the person talking to you's point of view, I think it is hard for them to concentrate. Because if they experience you as Chiron, that in my opinion feels like a big blast of white light, so they might go into another space. My advice is when you want to have contact, like really contact, gently look people in the eyes, if you can realize they think you have all the power and if you can stay in your self, try not to take that on. If you find you have to repeat simple details and you just cant understand why they are not concentrating, be patient, because I think when there is true contact going on there might be that blast of white light. They might say "Could you please tell me where the Post Office is?" which sounds harmless but maybe they have the application for the job of their life in their hands and they are panicking to get to the Post Office. You say "Just past Radio Shack take a right and turn left at the Dunkin' Donuts". If you notice they are not moving, I think they are having an experience, so repeat the directions until you notice they have registered the information.

Having Chiron on the Ascendant opposing Pluto on the Descendant may sometimes make being with people very exhausting, so you might need to recharge. I look at Jupiter on your ascendant and I think of comedy. Can you imagine being a stand-up comic at a comedy club? developing a script and doing that at night as a whole diversion, as comic relief as a hobby? Or maybe just going to a comedy club is enough, if not then renting a comedy DVD or enjoying political satire. I think this laughing may help recharge your battery. Because of the way Jupiter and Chiron straddle your ascendant, I think you may want to separate comedy from whatever the Chiron thing is you do, as integrating the two without being aware and very careful may be painful in the relational exchange and hard to control without you knowing why. That would be the case if someone is accused of not being able to take a joke, or if the humor is deemed "inappropriate".

As for the art installation, "The Gates", especially when I look at the aerial view, I feel like this is a life path, each gate is like a person you meet and is the gateway to the next field of awareness. From a distance the series of meetings blends into an orange line, like a life line.

Here is a quote from the website on this project: "For those who walked through The Gates, following the walkways, the saffron-colored fabric was a golden ceiling creating warm shadows. When seen from the buildings surrounding Central Park, The Gates seemed like a golden river appearing and disappearing through the bare branches of the trees and highlighting the shape of the meandering footpaths."

I see Chiron as saffron and the warm shadows as Pluto. I see the appearing and the disappearing as the experience of feeling seen or feeling misunderstood in relational exchange. Maybe contemplating this installation can be interesting for you and help you bring awareness to each gate you walk through everyday in your life.

Enjoy the journey,
Deirdre


photos above by Wolfgang Volz

New Moon Birthday

A reader writes in:
I've been living in agony since April 2004, everything was ripped from me.
I've tried to go this on my own for so very long, but it just gets worse and worse.
I need HELP! —Barbara

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Dear Barbara,

You wrote in three days ago and today is your birthday. Happy birthday. Today there is a new Moon in your sign, it is time to start all over.

You are a Taurus with Moon in Scorpio, the way to use this to your advantage is to be the survivor, because of all the signs, Taurus and Scorpio have more staying power than is usually given to one person, and you can use this especially today, this year, this month — now.

Four years is a long long time to be in agony. I am not sure of your situation, but from the way you write it feels unbearable. If there is a day to not bear it any more, today is the day. If you need a sign from the universe, look to nature, it is growing and changing. Today on your birthday no matter what else is going on, take a walk and find one little leaf and think of the cycles that plant has been through. Let this be the sign that you have cycles too. You are ready for a big new change. When you have a New Moon on your own birthday, the universe is smiling at you nudging you, a Taurus bull, to a new cycle. The world really is different now.

As for the astrology, at that time in April 2004, Saturn was at the top of your chart and you might have had had immense responsibilities, little resources and a lot of pain. There were eclipses which highlighted untruth and loss and it did not feel fair.

Today is four years later. It is all different now and the sky can prove it. There are six planets in earth signs -- now that's birthday presents! Moon, Venus, Sun, Saturn, Pluto and Jupiter and they are all on your side.

Today is the day to start something new, plant a seed, a real or symbolic one and most importantly if you can please stay away from any negative drama from other peoples' lives and be true to the little sometimes shaking leaf in you.

If you feel this may be too difficult to do alone, seek the help of a trained professional and possibly work in a group. From the way your solar return birthday chart looks, Chiron, North Node and Neptune are in your Aquarian 7th house, with Chiron on the descendant making a positive aspect to Pallas. Chiron on the descendent indicates you may find a teacher or therapist who you may let help you. I believe either alone or with support, you will see the patterns of what has made it so difficult to get unstuck from the agony these past four years. From seeing the patterns you will develop a strategy to get you feeling in command of this new cycle.

Happy Birthday Again,
Much Love,
Deirdre


photo above by Deirdre Tanton